Islam & Woman

Introduction

When it comes to Islamic duties, the Muslim woman is just like a man: she has a mission in life, and so she is required to be as effective, active and social as her particular circumstances and capabilities allow, mixing with other women as much as she can and dealing with them in accordance with the worthy Islamic attitudes and behaviour that distinguish her from other women.

Wherever the Muslim woman is found, she becomes a beacon of guidance, and a positive source of correction and education, through both her words and her deeds.

The Muslim woman who has been truly guided by the Qur'an and Sunnah has a refined social personality of the highest degree, which qualifies her to undertake her duty of calling other women to Islam, opening their hearts and minds to the guidance of this great religion which elevated the status of women at a remarkably early stage in their history and furnished them with a vast range of the best of characteristics which are outlined in the Qur'an and Sunnah. Islam has made the acquisition of these characteristics a religious duty for which a person will be rewarded, and will be called to account if he or she fails to attain them. These texts succeeded in making the personality of the woman who is sincere towards Allah (SWT) into a brilliant example of the decent, chaste, polite, God-fearing, refined, sociable woman.

The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of Islam stands out in every women's gathering she attends, as she demonstrates the true values of her religion and the practical application of those values by her attaining of those worthy attributes. The make-up of her distinct social character represents a huge store of those Islamic values, which can be seen in her social conduct and dealings with people. From this rich, pure source, the Muslim woman draws her own customs, habits and ways of dealing with others and she cleanses her soul and forms her own Muslim, social personality from the same source.

She has a good attitude towards others and treats them well

The Muslim woman is of good and noble character, friendly, humble, gentle of speech and tactful. She likes others and is liked by them. By doing so, she is following the example of the Prophet (PBUH) who, as his servant Anas (RAA) reported, was "the best of people in his attitude towards others."¹

Anas (RAA) saw more than anyone else of the Prophet's good attitude, and witnessed such good attitudes that no-one could imagine it existed in any human being. He told us of one aspect of that noble attitude of the Prophet (PBUH):

The Prophet (PBUH) was of the best character, as Allah (SWT) said:

He (PBUH) repeatedly told his Sahabah of the effect a good attitude would have in forming an Islamic personality and in raising a person's status in the sight of Allah (SWT) and of other people. He (PBUH) told them:

The Sahabah (RAA) - men and women alike - used to hear the Prophet's noble moral teachings, and they would see with their own eyes the excellent way in which he used to deal with people. So they would obey his words and follow his example. Thus was established their society which has never been equalled by any other in the history of mankind.

Anas (RAA) said:

The Prophet (PBUH) did not see anything wrong with listening to the Bedouin and resolving his issue, even though the iqamah had already been given. He did not get upset with the man for pulling on his cloak, or object to resolving the matter before the prayer, because he was building a just society, teaching the Muslims by his example how a Muslim should treat his brother, and showing them the moral principles that should prevail in a Muslim community.

If good attitudes and manners among non-Muslims are the result of a good upbringing and solid education, then among Muslims such good attitudes come, above all, from the guidance of Islam, which makes good attitudes a basic characteristic of the Muslim, one which will raise his status in this world and will weigh heavily in his favour in the Hereafter. No deed will count for more on the Day of Judgement than a man's good attitude, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:

Islam has made this good attitude towards others an essential part of faith, and those who have the best attitude towards others are the most complete in faith, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:

Islam also describes those who have the best attitude towards others as being the most beloved to Allah (SWT) of His servants. This is seen in the hadith of Usamah ibn Shurayk, who said:

It comes as no surprise that the person who has the best attitude towards others should also be the one who is most beloved to Allah (SWT), for good treatment of others is an important feature of Islamic law. It is the most significant deed that can be placed in the balance of the Muslim on the Day of Judgement, as we have seen. It is equivalent to prayer and fasting, the two greatest bases of Islam, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:

So the Prophet (PBUH) repeatedly emphasized the importance of a good attitude and encouraged his Companions to adopt it, using various methods to instil it in their hearts by his words and deeds. He understood the great impact this good attitude would have in purifying their souls and enhancing their morals and manners. For example, he told Abu Dharr:

And he (PBUH) said:

One of his du`a's was:

The prayer of the Prophet (PBUH), asking Allah (SWT) to make his attitude good when Allah (SWT) had described him in the Qur'an as being ( on an exalted standard of character) (Qur'an 68:4), is a clear indication of his deep concern and earnest desire that the Muslims should continue to seek to increase in good attitudes, no matter what heights they had already scaled, just as their Prophet (PBUH) continued to seek to increase in good attitudes through this du`a'. "Good attitudes" is a comprehensive term which includes all the good characteristics that human beings may acquire, such as modesty, patience, gentleness, forgiveness, tolerance, cheerfulness, truthfulness, trustworthiness, sincerity, straightforwardness, purity of heart, and so on.

The one who sets out to explore the Islamic teachings on social issues will find himself confronted with a host of teachings that encourage every single one of these noble attitudes. This is an indication of the intense concern that Islam has to form the social personality of the Muslim in the most precise fashion. So it does not stop at mentioning generalities, but it also deals with every minor moral issue that may form individual aspects of the integrated social personality. This comprehensiveness does not exist in other social systems as it does in Islam.

The researcher who sets out to explore the character of the Muslim woman has no alternative but to examine all these texts, and to understand the guidance and legislation contained therein. Only then will he be able to fully comprehend the noble social personality that is unique to the true Muslim, man or woman.

She is truthful

The Muslim woman is truthful with all people, because she has absorbed the teachings of Islam which encourages truthfulness and regards it as the chief of virtues, whilst lying is forbidden and regarded as the source of all evils and bad deeds. The Muslim woman believes that truthfulness naturally leads to goodness, which will admit the one who practices it to Paradise, while falsehood leads to iniquity which will send the one who practices it to Hell. The Prophet (PBUH) said:

Therefore the Muslim woman is keen to be a sincere lover of truth (siddiqah), striving to be true in all her words and deeds. This is a sublime status which is achieved only by God-fearing Muslim women by means of truthfulness, purity of heart and by virtue of which she is recorded in the sight of Allah (SWT) as an honoured lover of truth.
 
 

She Avoids Giving False Statements

The true Muslim woman whose personality has been moulded by the teachings and guidance of Islam does not give false statements, because to do so is haram:

Bearing false witness¹⁴, besides being haram, does not befit the Muslim woman. It damages her honour and credibility, and marks a person as twisted and worthless in the sight of others. So the Qur'an completely forbids this attitude for the chosen servants of Allah (SWT), men and women alike, just as it forbids other major sins:

Nothing is more indicative of the enormity of this sin than the fact that the Prophet (PBUH) mentioned it as coming after the two most serious sins on the scale of major sins: associating partners with Allah (SWT), and disobedience to parents. Then he repeated it to the Muslims, warning them with the utmost fervour. He (PBUH) said:

She gives sincere advice

The true Muslim woman does not only strive to free herself of negative characteristics; she also seeks to offer sincere advice to every woman she comes into contact with who has deviated from the guidance of Allah (SWT) - and how many women there are who have wronged themselves and are in great need of someone to offer them sincere advice and guide them back towards the straight path which Allah (SWT) has commanded all of us to follow.

For the true Muslim woman, offering sincere advice is not just the matter of volunteering to do good out of generosity; it is a duty enjoined by Islam, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:

When the Sahabah swore allegiance (bay`ah) to the Prophet (PBUH), they would pledge to observe salah and zakah, and to be sincere towards every Muslim, as is shown in the statement of Jarir ibn `Abdullah (RAA):

How brilliantly the Prophet (PBUH) expressed the meaning of nasihah when he said, "Religion is sincerity [or sincere advice]"! He summed up the entire religion in just one word, "nasihah," indicating to every Muslim the value of sincerity and sincere advice, and the great impact that sincere advice has on the lives of individuals, families and societies. When sincerity spreads among a people, they are guided to the straight path; if sincerity is withheld, they will go far astray.

Therefore nasihah was one of the most important matters that Muslims pledged to observe when they swore allegiance to the Prophet (PBUH): it comes after salah and zakah, as we have seen in the hadith of Jabir ibn Abdullah quoted above.

The fact that sincere advice is mentioned in conjunction with salah and zakah in the oath of allegiance given by the great Sahabi Jarir ibn `Abdullah to the Prophet (PBUH) is an indication of its importance in the Islamic scheme of things and in deciding a person's fate in the Hereafter. It is therefore a basic characteristic of the true Muslim who is concerned about his destiny on the Day of Judgement.

In Islam, responsibility is a general duty that applies to men and women alike, each person has responsibilities within his or her own social sphere, as the Prophet (PBUH) explained:

If we understand this, we will realize that the woman's responsibility includes offering sincere advice to everyone around her who can benefit from it.

She Guides Others to Righteous Deeds

The Muslim woman whose soul has been purified by Islam and cleansed of the stains of selfishness and love of show guides others to righteous deeds when she knows of them, so that goodness will come to light and people will benefit from it. It is all the same to her whether the good deed is done by herself or by others, because she knows that the one who guides others to do righteous deeds will be rewarded like the one who does the actual deed, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:

The Muwoman is the least likely to keep goodness to herself, or to boast to others about doing good, which is the attitude of selwomen who love to show off. It is enough for the Muslim woman who guides others to do good to know that she will be rewarded by Allah (SWT) in either case, and for the true Muslim woman, storing up reward with Allah (SWT) is more important than fame and a good reputation. In this way, goodness spreads throughout the community, and every person will have the opportunity to do whatever Allah (SWT) helps him or her to do.

How many of these deadly psychological disorders are preventing good from being spread in society! For the people who are suffering from them hope that they alone will undertake good deeds to the exclusion of others, but circumstances prevent them from doing so. So goodness and benefits remain locked up waiting for the opportunity that never comes. The true Muslim, man or woman, who seeks to please Allah (SWT) and earn reward from Him is free from such disorders. The true Muslim guides people to do good deeds as soon as he or she is aware of an opportunity, and thus he or she earns a reward from Allah (SWT) equal to the reward of the one who does the good deed itself.

She Does Not Cheat, Deceive, or Stab in the Back

The sincere Muslim woman for whom truthfulness has become a deeply-rooted characteristic does not cheat, deceive or stab in the back, because these worthless characteristics are beneath her. They contradict the values of truthfulness, and do not befit the Muslim woman. Truthfulness requires an attitude of sincerity, straightforwardness, loyalty and fairness, which leaves no room for cheating, lying, trickery, deceit or betrayal.

The Muslim woman who is filled with the guidance of Islam is truthful by nature, and has a complete aversion to cheating, deceiving and back-stabbing, which she sees as a sign of a person's being beyond the pale of Islam, as the Prophet (PBUH) stated in the hadith narrated by Muslim:

Muslim society is based on purity of human feeling, sincerity towards every Muslim, and fulfilment of promises to every member of the society. If any cheats or traitors are found in that society, they are most certainly alien elements whose character is in direct contrast to the noble character of true Muslims.

Islam views cheating, deception and back-stabbing as heinous crimes which will be a source of shame to the guilty party both in this world and the next. The Prophet (PBUH) announced that on the Day of Resurrection, every traitor would be raised carrying the flag of his betrayal and a caller will cry out in the vast arena of judgement, pointing to him and drawing attention to him:

How great will be the shame of those traitors, men and women, who thought that their betrayal was long since forgotten, and now here it is, spread out for all to see and carried aloft on banners held by their own hands.

Their shame on the Day of Judgement will increase when they see the Prophet (PBUH), who is the hope of intercession on that great and terrible Day, standing in opposition to them, because they have committed the heinous crime of betrayal, which is a crime of such enormity that it will deprive them of the mercy of Allah (SWT) and the intercession of the Prophet (PBUH):

The Muslim woman who has been truly guided by Islam steers clear of all forms of deceit and back-stabbing. They exist in many forms in the world of modern women, but the Muslim woman values herself too highly to include herself among those cheating, deceiving women whom the Prophet (PBUH) considered to be hypocrites:

She Keeps Her Promises

One of the noble attitudes of the true Muslim woman is that she keeps her promises. This attitude is the companion of truthfulness and indeed stems naturally from it.

Keeping promises is a praiseworthy attitude, one that indicates the high level of civility attained by the woman who exhibits it. It helps her to succeed in life, and earns her the love, respect and appreciation of others.

The effects of this attitude in instilling moral and psychological virtues in girls and boys are not unknown; if they see their mothers always keeping their promises, this is the best example that they can be given.

For the Muslim woman, keeping promises is not just the matter of social niceties, something to boast about among her friends and peers; it is one of the basic Islamic characteristics and one of the clearest indicators of sound faith and true Islam. Many texts of the Qur'an and Sunnah emphasize the importance of this quality:

This is a definitive command from Allah (SWT) to His believing servants, men and women alike, to keep their promises and to fulfil whatever obligations those promises entail. There is no room for escaping or dodging this responsibility. It does not befit the Muslim who has committed himself or herself to then try to get out of keeping the promise. It is his duty to keep his word. In some ayat, the word for "promise" is connected by the grammatical structure of idafah (genitive) to Allah (SWT) Himself, as an indication of its dignity and sanctity, and of the obligation to keep promises:

Islam dislikes those prattlers who carelessly make promises without following through and keeping their word:

Allah (SWT) does not like His believing servants, male or female, to sink to the level of empty words, promises given with no intention of fulfilment, and all manner of excuses to avoid upholding the commitments made. Such conduct does not befit believing men and women. The tone of the question asked in this ayah is an expression of the extreme disapproval incurred by those believers who commit the sin of saying that which they do not do.

The Prophet (PBUH) said:

According to a report given by Muslim, he (PBUH) added:

The level of a woman's Islam is not determined only by acts of worship and rituals, but also the extent to which her character is influenced by the teachings and high values of Islam. She does only that which will please Allah (SWT). The Muslim woman who understands and adheres to the teachings of Islam does not break her promises, or cheat others, or betray them, because such acts contradict the morals and values of true Isla, and such attitudes are only found among men and women who are hypocrites.

Let them know this, those women who tell lies to their own children, who make promises then go back on thword, thus planting the seeds of dishonesty and promise-breaking in their children's hearts. Let them know this, those women who make empty, meaningless promises and attach no importance to the word of honour to which they have committed themselves, lest by such carelessness they become hypocrites themselves and earn the punishment of the hypocrites which, as is well known, is a place in the lowest level of Hell.

She is Frank

The true Muslim woman is frank and open in her words and opinions, and is the furthest removed from hypocrisy, flattery and false praise, because she knows from the teachings of Islam that hypocrisy is haram, and does not befit the true Muslim.

The Prophet (PBUH) prevented people from exaggerating in their praise of others, some of whom may not even be deserving of praise, when he forbade them to describe him as "master," "excellent" and "great," at the time when he was without doubt the greatest of the Messengers, the master of the Muslims and the greatest and most excellent of them. He did this because he understood that if the door of praise was opened to its fullest extent, it might lead to dangerous types of hypocrisy which are unacceptable to a pure Islamic spirit and the truth on which this religion is based. He forbade the Sahabah to praise a man to his face, lest the one who spoke the words crossed the boundary of hypocrisy, or the object of his admiration be filled with feelings of pride, arrogance, superiority and self-admiration.

Bukhari and Muslim narrate that Abu Bakrah (RAA) said:

If praising a person cannot be avoided, then it must be sincere and based on truth. The praise should be moderate, reserved and without any exaggeration. This is the only way in which a society can rid itself of the diseases of hypocrisy, lies, deceit and sycophancy.

The Prophet (PBUH) described hearing praise as being a person's downfall, because of its profound psychological impact on the human mind which by nature loves to hear such words. So the one who is praised begins to feel superior to and to look down on other people. If such praise is repeated by the hypocrites and flatterers - and how many of them there are surrounding those in positions of power and authority! - this will satisfy a strong desire in his heart and will become something he wants to hear regularly. Then he will hate to hear criticism and advice, and will only accept praise, thanks and adulation. No wonder, then, that truth will be lost, justice will be eliminated, morality will be destroyed and society will be corrupted.

For this reason the Prophet (PBUH) ordered his Companions to throw dust in the faces of those who praise others, lest their number, and hence flattery and hypocrisy, increase, which would have had disastrous consequences for the whole Muslim society.

The Sahabah, may Allah (SWT) be pleased with them, used to feel upset when they heard others praising them, although they were the most deserving of such praise, because they feared its disastrous consequences and adhered to the basic principles of Islam that abhor such cheap, empty expressions. Nafi`(RAA) and others said: "A man said to Ibn `Umar (RAA): `O you who are the best of people!' or `O son of the best of people!' Ibn `Umar said: `I am not the best of people, neither am I the son of the best of people. I am just one of the servants of Allah (SWT): I hope for His (mercy) and I fear His (wrath). By Allah (SWT), you will continue to pursue a man (with your praise) until you bring about his downfall.'"³¹

This is a wise statement from a great Sahabi of the utmost Islamic sensibilities, who adhered to Islamic teachings both in secret and openly.

The Sahabah understood precisely the Prophet's guidance telling them that their words and deeds should be free from hypocrisy. The great difference between that which is done sincerely for the sake of Allah (SWT) and that which is merely hypocrisy and flattery was abundantly clear to them.

Ibn `Umar (RAA) said that some people said to him: "When we enter upon our rulers we tell them something different from what we say when we have left them." Ibn `Umar said: "At the time of the Prophet (PBUH), we used to consider this to be hypocrisy."³²

The true Muslim woman is protected by her religion from sinking to the dangerous level of hypocrisy to which many women today have sunk who think that they have not overstepped the bounds of polite flattery. They do not realize that there is a type of flattery that is haram and that they could sink so low without realizing it and fall into the sin of that despised hypocrisy which may lead to their ultimate doom. This happens when they keep quiet and refrain from telling the truth, or when they praise those who do not deserve it.

She is Characterized by Shyness - Haya

Women are shy by nature, and what I mean here by shyness is the same as the definition of the `ulama': the noble attitude that always motivates a person to keep away from what is abhorrent and to avoid falling short in one's duties towards those who have rights over one. The Prophet (PBUH) was the highest example of shyness, as the great Sahabi Abu Sa`id al-Khudri described him:

The Prophet (PBUH) praised the attitude of shyness in a number of ahadith, and explained that it is pure goodness, both for the one who possesses this virtue and for the society in which he lives.

`Imran ibn Husayn (RAA) said:

According to a report given by Muslim, he (PBUH) said:

Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said:

The true Muslim woman is shy, polite, gentle and sensitive to the feelings of others. She never says or does anything that may harm people or offend their dignity.

The attitude of shyness that is deeply-rooted in her nature is supported by her understanding of the Islamic concepof shyness, which protects her against going wrong or deviating from Islamic teachings in her dealings with others. She does not only feel shy in front of people, but she also feels shy before Allah (SWT). She is careful not to let her faith become by wrongdoing, because shyness is one of the branches of faith. This is the highest level that may be reached by the woman who is characterized by shyness. In this way she is distinguished from the Western woman who has lost the characteristic of shyness.

She is Proud and Does not Beg

One of the features that distinguish the Muslim woman who has truly understood the guidance of Islam is the fact that she is proud and does not beg. If she is faced with difficulties or is afflicted with poverty, she seeks refuge in patience and self-pride, whilst redoubling her efforts to find a way out of the crisis of poverty that has befallen her. It never occurs to her to put herself in the position of begging and asking for help, because Islam thinks too highly of the true Muslim woman to allow her to put herself in such a position. The Muslim woman is urged to be proud, independent and patient - then Allah (SWT) will help her and give her independence and patience:

The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of Islam knows that Islam has given the poor some rights over the wealth of the rich, who should give freely without reminders or insults. But at the same time, Islam wants the poor to be independent and not to rely on this right. The higher hand is better than the lower hand, so all Muslims, men and women, should always work so that their hand will not be the lower one. That is more befitting and more honouring to them. So those men and women who have little should increase their efforts and not be dependent on charity and hand-outs. This will save them from losing face. Whenever he spoke from the minbar about charity and refraining from begging, the Prophet (PBUH) would remind the Muslims that "the higher hand is better than the lower, the higher hand is the one that spends, whilst the lower hand is the one that begs."³⁸

She Does Not Interfere in That Which Does Not Concern Her

The true Muslim woman is wise and discerning; she does not interfere in that which does not concern her, nor does she concern herself with the private lives of the women around her. She does not stick her nose into their affairs or force herself on them in any way, because this could result in sin or blame on her part. By seeking to avoid interfering in that which does not concern her, she protects herself from vain and idle talk, as she is adhering to a sound Islamic principle that raises the Muslim above such foolishness, furnishes him with the best of attitudes, and guides him towards the best way of dealing with others:

Abu Hurayrah (RAA) reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said:

The divinely-guided society which has been formed by Islam has no room for passing on stories and gossip, asking too many questions, or interfering in the private affairs of others, because the members of such a society are too busy with something much more important, which is the establishing of the word of Allah (SWT) on earth, taking the banner of Islam to the four corners of the earth, and spreading its values among mankind. Those who are engaged in such great missions do not have the time to indulge in such sins.

She Refrains from Slandering the Honor of Others and Seeking Out Their Faults

The God-fearing Muslim woman restrains her tongue and does not seek out people's faults or slander their honour, and she hates to see such talk spread in the Muslim community. She acts in accordance with the guidance of the Qur'an and Sunnah, which issue a severe warning to those corrupt men and women who indulge in slandering the honour of others, that they will suffer a terrible punishment in this world and the next:

The one who indulges in the slander of people's honour, and spreads news of scandal throughout the community is just like the one who commits the scandalous deed, as `Ali ibn Abi Talib (RAA) stated:

The true Muslim woman understands that the human shortcomings of some weak or careless women cannot be dealt with by seeking out their faults and mistakes and broadcasting them throughout the community. The way to deal with them is by offering sound advice to the women concerned, encouraging them to obey Allah (SWT), and teaching them to hate disobedience themselves, always being frank without hurting their feelings or being confrontational.

Kind words and a gentle approach in explaining the truth opens hearts and minds, and leads to complete spiritual and physical submission. For this reason, Allah (SWT) forbids the Muslims to spy on one another and seek out one another's faults:

Exposing people's shortcomings, seeking out their faults, spying on them and gossiping about them are actions which not only hurt the people concerned; they also harm the greater society in which they live. Therefore the Qur'an issued a stern warning to those who love to spread scandal in the community, because whenever scandal is spread in a community, people's honour is insulted, and rumours, plots and suspicions increase, then the disease of promiscuity becomes widespread, people become immune to acts of disobedience and sin, the bonds of brotherhood are broken, and hatred, enmity, conspiracies and corruption arise. This is what the Prophet (PBUH) referred to when he said:

So the Prophet (PBUH) issued a stern warning to the Muslims against the danger of slandering people's honour and exposing their faults. He threatened that the one who takes such matters lightly would himself be exposed, even if he were hiding in the innermost part of his home:

"Do not hurt the feelings of the servants of Allah (SWT); do not embarrass them; do not seek to expose their faults. Whoever seeks to expose the faults of his Muslim brother, Allah (SWT) will seek to expose his faults and expose him, even if he hides in the innermost part of his home."⁴³

The Prophet (PBUH) was deeply offended by those who were nosey, suspicious or doubtful, or who sought to undermine people's reputation and honour. He would become very angry whenever he heard any news of these aggressors who hurt others. Ibn `Abbas (RAA) described the anger of the Prophet (PBUH) and his harshness towards those who slandered the honour of others:

"The Prophet (PBUH) gave a speech that even reached the ears of virgins in their private rooms. He said: `O you who have spoken the words of faith, but faith has not penetrated your hearts! Do not hurt the feelings of the believers and do not seek out their faults. Whoever seeks out the faults of his Muslim brother, Allah (SWT) will seek out his faults, and whoever's faults are sought out by Allah (SWT) will be exposed, even if he is in the innermost part of his house."⁴⁴

These harsh words, which were even heard by the virgins secluded in tprivate rooms, reflect the anger felt by the Prophet (PBUH). He started his speech with the words "O you who have spoken the words of faith, but faith has not penetrated your hearts!" How great is the sin of those who are included among those whose hearts are deprived of the blessing of faith!

She Does No Show Off or Boast

The Muslim woman does not slip into the error of pride, boasting and showing off, because her knowledge of Islam protects her from such errors. She understands that the very essence of this religion is sincerity towards Allah (SWT) in word and deed; any trace of a desire to show off will destroy reward, cancel out good deeds, and bring humiliation on the Day of Judgement.

Worshipping Allah (SWT) is the goal behind the creation of mankind and jinn, as the Qur'an says:

But this worship cannot be accepted unless it is done sincerely for the sake of Allah (SWT):

When a Muslim woman's deeds are contaminated with the desire to boast or show off or seek fame and reputation, the good deeds will be invalidated. Her reward will be destroyed and she will be in a clear state of loss. The Qur'an issues a clear and stern warning to those who spend their wealth then remind the beneficiaries of their charity of their gifts in a way that hurts their feelings and offends their dignity:

Reminding the poor of one's generosity cancels out the reward of these acts of charity, just as pouring water washes away all traces of soil on a smooth stone. The last part of the ayah presents the frightening admonition that those who show off do not deserve the guidance of Allah (SWT) and are counted as kafirs: ( And Allah guides not those who reject faith.)

Such people's main concern is to appear to people to be doing good works; they are not concerned with earning the pleasure of Allah (SWT). Allah (SWT) has described them as doing apparently good deeds:

Thus their deeds will be thrown back in their faces, because they associated something or someone else with Allah (SWT), and Allah (SWT) does not accept any deeds except those which are done purely for His sake, as is stated in the hadith of Abu Hurayrah (RAA), in which he reports that he heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say:

The true Muslim woman is cautious, when doing good deeds, to avoid falling into the dangerous trap into which so many women who seek to do good have fallen, without even realizing it, by seeking praise for their efforts and honourable mention on special occasions. Theirs is a terrible fall indeed.

The Prophet (PBUH) has clearly explained this issue and has referred to the terrible humiliation that those who show off will suffer on that awful Day ( whereon neither wealth nor sons will avail, but only he [will prosper] that brings to Allah a sound heart.) (Qur'an 26:88-89).

This is mentioned in another hadith in which Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said:

The intelligent Muslim woman who is truly guided by the Qur'an and Sunnah carefully avoids slipping into the sin of boasting in any of its many forms. She is ever keen to devote all of her deeds exclusively to Allah (SWT), seeking His pleasure, and whenever the appalling spectre of pride and boasting looms before her, she remembers and adheres to the teaching of the Prophet (PBUH):

She Is Fair In Her Judgments

The Muslim woman may be put in a position where she is required to form an opinion or judgement on some person or matter. This is where her faith, common sense and taqwa reveal themselves. The true Muslim woman judges fairly, and is never unjust, biased or influenced by her own whims, no matter what the circumstances, because she understands from the teachings of Islam that being just and avoiding unfairness are at the very heart of her faith, as stated by clear and unambiguous texts of the Qur'an and Sunnah and expressed in commandments that leave no room for prevarication:

Justice as known by the Muslim and the Islamic society is aboslute and pure justice. It is not influenced by friendship, hatred or blood ties:

This is absolute, universal justice which is applied to great and small, prince and commoner, Muslims and non-Muslims. None can escape its grasp, and this is what differentiates justice in Islamic societies from justice in other societies.

History records the impressive story that earns the respect of the institutions of justice throughout the world and at all times: the khalifah `Ali ibn AbTalib stood side by side in court with his Jewish opponent, who had stolen his shield, on equal terms. The qadi, Shurayh, did not let his great respect for the khalifah prevent him from asking him to produce evidence that the Jew had stolen his shield. When the khalifah could not produce such evidence, the qadi ruled in favour of the Jew, and against the khalifah. Islamhistory is full of such examples which indicate the extent to which truth and justice prevailed in the Muslim society.

Therefore the Muslim woman who truly adheres to the teachings of her religion is just in word and deed, and this attitude of hers is reinforced by the fact that truth and justice are an ancient part of her heritage and fairness is a sacred part of her belief.

She Does Not Oppress or Mistreat Others

To the extent that the Muslim woman is keen to adhere to justice in all her words and deeds, she also avoids oppression (zulm), for oppression is darkness in which male and female oppressors will become lost, as the Prophet (PBUH) explained:

The following hadith qudsi definitively and eloquently expresses Allah's (SWT) prohibition of oppression in a way that leaves no room for prevarication:

If Allah (SWT), the Creator, the Sovereign, the Most Holy, the Exalted in Might, the Omnipotent, the Almighty, may He be glorified, has forbidden oppression for Himself, and forbidden it for His servants, does it then befit His weak, mortal servant to commit the sin of oppression against his human brother?

The Prophet (PBUH) forbade Muslim men and women to commit the sin of oppression against their brothers and sisters in faith, no matter what the motives, reasons or circumstances might be. It is unimaginable that a Muslim who is adhering to the strong bonds of brotherhood could commit such a sin:

"A Muslim is the brother of another Muslim: he does not oppress him or forsake him when he is oppressed. Whoever helps his brother, Allah (SWT) will help him; whoever relieves his brother from some distress, Allah (SWT) will relieve him of some of his distress on the Day of Resurrection; whoever covers (the fault of) a Muslim, Allah (SWT) will cover his faults on the Day of Resurrection."⁵¹

The Prophet (PBUH) did not stop at forbidding oppression against another Muslim, man or woman; he also forbade Muslims to forsake a brother in faith who was being oppressed, because this act of forsaking an oppressed brother is in itself a terrible form of oppression. He encouraged Muslims to take care of their brothers' needs and to ease their suffering and conceal their faults, as if indicating that the neglect of these virtues constitutes oppression, failure and injustice with regard to the ties of brotherhood that bind the Muslim and his brother.

We have quoted above the texts that enjoin absolute justice which cannot be influenced by love, hatred, bias or ties of blood, and other texts that forbid absolute injustice. This means that justice is to be applied to all people, and that injustice to any people is to be avoided, even if the people concerned are not Muslim. Allah (SWT) commands justice and good treatment of all, and forbids oppression and wrong-doing to all:

She Is Fair Even To Those Whom She Does Not Like

Life sometimes imposes on a Muslim woman the burden of having to live or mix with women whom she does not like, such as living in the same house with one of her in-laws or other women with whom she has nothing in common and does not get along well. This is something which happens in many homes, a fact which cannot be denied, for souls are like conscripted soldiers: if they recognize one another, they will become friends, and if they dislike one another, they will go their separate ways, as the Prophet (PBUH) explained in the hadith whose authenticity is agreed upon. How should the Muslim woman who has received a sound Islamic education conduct herself in such a situation? Should she be negative in her dealings, judgements and reactions, or should she be gentle, tactful, fair and wise, even with those whom she does not like?

The answer is that the Muslim woman who is truly guided by Islam should be fair, wise, gentle and tactful. She should not expose her true feelings towards those she dislikes, or expose her cold feelings towards them in the way she behaves towards them and reacts to them. She should greet such women warmly, treat them gently and speak softly to them. This is the attitude adopted by the Prophet (PBUH) and his Companions. Abu'l-Darda' (RAA) said:

`Urwah ibn al-Zubayr reported that `A'ishah told him:

Being companionable, friendly and kind towards people are among the attributes of believing men and women. Being humble, speaking gently and avoiding harshness are approaches that make people like one another and draw closer to one another, as enjoined by Islam, which encourages Muslims to adopt these attitudes in their dealings with others.

The true Muslim woman is not swayed by her emotions when it comes to love and hate. She is moderate, objective, fair and realistic in her treatment and opinions of those woman whom she does not like, and allows herself to be governed by her reason, religion, chivalry and good attitude. She does not bear witness except to the truth, and she does not judge except with justice, following the example of the Mothers of the Believers, who were the epitome of fairness, justice and taqwa in their opinions of one another.

`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) was the closest of his wives to the Prophet's heart, and her main rival in this regard was Zaynab bint Jahsh. It was natural for there to be jealousy between them, but this jealousy did not prevent either of them from saying what was true about the other and acknowledging her qualities without undermining them.

In Sahih Muslim, `A'ishah says of Zaynab:

In Sahih Bukhari, in the context of her telling of the slander incident (al-ifk) concerning which Allah (SWT) Himself confirmed her total innocence, `A'ishah referred to Zaynab's testimony concerning her:

Anyone who reads the books of sirah and the biographies of the Sahabah will find many reports of the wives of the Prophets which describe fairness and mutual praise among co-wives.

Among these is Umm Salamah's comment about Zaynab: "Zaynab was very dear to the Prophet (PBUH), and he liked to spend time with her. She was righteous, and frequently stood in prayer at night and fasted during the day. She was skilled (in handicrafts) and used to give everything that she earned in charity to the poor."

When Zaynab died, `A'ishah said: "She has departed praiseworthy and worshipping much, the refuge of the orphans anwidows."⁵⁶

When Maymunah died, `A'ishah said: "By Allah (SWT), Maymunah has gone. . . But by Allah (SWT) she was one of the most pious of us and one of those who was most faithful in upholding the ties of kinship."⁵⁷

The wives of the Prophet (PBUH) displayed this attitude of fairness and justice towards co-wives in spite of the jealousy, competition and sensitivity that existed between them. We can only imagine how great and noble their attitude towards other women was. By their behaviour and attitude, they set the highest example for Muslim woman of human co-existence that absorbs all hatred by increasing the power of reason and controls the strength of jealousy - if it is present - by strengthening the feelings of fairness, good treatment and a sense of being above such negative attitudes. Thus the Muslim woman becomes fair towards those women whom she does not like, regardless of the degree of closeness between them, fair when judging them, and wise, rational and tactful in her treatment of them.

She Does Not Rejoice In The Misfortunes of Others

The sincere Muslim woman who is truly infused with Islamic attitudes does not rejoice in the misfortunes of anyone, because Schadenfreude (malicious enjoyment of others' misfortunes) is a vile, hurtful attitude that should not exist in the God-fearing woman who understands the teachings of her religion. The Prophet (PBUH) forbade this attitude and warned against it:

There is no room for Schadenfreude in the heart of the Muslim woman in whom Islam has instilled good manners. Instead, she feels sorry for those who are faced with trials and difficulties: she hastens to help them and is filled with compassion for their suffering. Schadenfreude belongs only in those sick hearts that are deprived of the guidance of Islam and that are accustomed to plotting revenge and seeking out means of harming others.

She Avoids Suspicion

Another attribute of the true Muslim woman is that she does not form unfounded suspicions about anybody. She avoids suspicion as much as possible, as Allah (SWT) has commanded in the Qur'an:

She understands that by being suspicious of others she may fall into sin, especially if she allows her imagination free rein to dream up possibilities and illusions, and accuses them of shameful deeds of which they are innocent. This is the evil suspicion which is forbidden in Islam.

The Prophet (PBUH) issued a stern warning against suspicion and speculation that has no foundation in reality. He (PBUH) said:

The Prophet (PBUH) counted suspicion as being the falsest of speech. The truly sincere Muslim woman who is keen to speak the truth always would never even allow words that carry the stench of untruth to cross her tongue, so how can she allow herself to fall into the trap of uttering the falsest of speech?

When the Prophet (PBUH) warned against suspicion and called it the falsest of speech, he was directing the Muslims, men and women, to take people at face value, and to avoid speculating about them or doubting them. It is not the attitude of a Muslim, nor is it his business, to uncover people's secrets, to expose their private affairs, or to slander them. Only Allah (SWT) knows what is in people's hearts, and can reveal it or call them to account for it, for only He knows all that is secret and hidden. A man, in contrast, knows nothing of his brother except what he sees him do. This was the approach of the Sahabah and Tabi`in who received the pure and unadulterated guidance of Islam.

`Abd al-Razzaq reported from `Abdullah ibn `Utbah ibn Mas`ud:

The true Muslim woman who is adhering to that which will help her to remember Allah (SWT) and do good deeds, will exercise the utmost care in every word she utters concerning her Muslim sister, whether directly or indirectly. She tries to be sure about every judgement she makes about people, always remembering the words of Allah (SWT):

So she does not transgress this wise and definitive prohibition: she does not speak except with knowledge, and she does not pass judgement except with certainty.

The true Muslim woman always reminds herself of the watching angel who is assigned to record every word she utters and every judgement she forms, and this increases her fear of falling into the sin of suspicion:

The alert Muslim woman understands the responsibility she bears for every word she utters, because she knows that these words may raise her to a position where Allah (SWT) is pleased with her, or they may earn her His wrath, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:

How great is our responsibility for the words we utter! How serious are the consequences of the words that our garrulous tongues speak so carelessly!

The true Muslim woman who is God-fearing and intelligent does not listen to people's idle talk, or pay attention to the rumours and speculation that are rife in our communities nowadays, especially in the gatherings of foolish and careless women. Consequently she never allows herself to pass on whatever she hears of such rumours without being sure that they are true. She believes that to do so would be the kind of haram lie that was clearly forbidden by the Prophet (PBUH):

She Refrains From Back Biting and Spreading Malicious Gossip

The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings of Islam is conscious of Allah (SWT), fearing Him in secret and in the open. She carefully avoids uttering any word of slander or malicious gossip that could anger her Lord and include her among those spreaders of malicious gossip who are severely condemned in the Qur'an and Sunnah.

When she reads the words of Allah (SWT):

she is filled with revulsion for the hateful crime of gossip, which is likened to the eating of her dead sister's flesh. So she hastens to repent, as Allah (SWT) commands at the end of the ayah, encouraging the one who has fallen into the error of backbiting to repent quickly from it.

She aheeds the words of the Prophet (PBUH), who said:

So she feels that gossip is a sin which does not befit the Muslim woman who has uttered the words of the Shahadah, and that the woman who is used to gossip in social gatherings is not among the righteous Muslim women.

`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said:

The Muslim woman pays attention to the description of the seven acts that may lead to a person's condemnation, which the Prophet (PBUH) called on people to avoid. In this list, she finds something that is even worse and more dangerous than mere gossip, namely the slander of chaste, innocent believing women, which is a sin that some women fall into in their gatherings:

The Muslim woman who truly understands this teaching takes the issue of gossip very seriously, and does not indulge in any type of gossip or tolerate anyone to gossip in her company. She defends her sisters from hostile gossip and refutes whatever bad things are being said about them, in accordance with the words of the Prophet (PBUH):

The true Muslim woman also refrains from spreading malicious gossip, because she understands the dangerous role it plays in spreading evil and corruption in society and breaking the ties of love and friendship between its members, as the Prophet (PBUH) explained:

It is enough for the woman who spreads malicious gossip and causes trouble between friends and splits them up to know that if she persists in her evil ways, there awaits her humiliation in this life and a terrible destiny in the next, as the Prophet (PBUH) declared that the blessings of Paradise will be denied to every person who spreads malicious gossip. This is stated clearly in the sahih hadith:

What fills the believing woman's heart with fear and horror of the consequences of spreading malicious gossip is the fact that Allah (SWT) will pour His punishment upon the one who engaged in this sin from the moment he or she is laid in the grave. We find this in the hadith which Bukhari, Muslim and others narrated from Ibn `Abbas (RAA):

She Avoids Cursing and Foul Language

The Muslim woman who has absorbed the good manners taught by Islam never utters obscene language or foul words, or offends people with curses and insults, bacause she knows that the moral teachings of Islam completely forbid all such talk. Cursing is seen as a sin that damages the quality of a person's adherance to Islam, and the foul-mouthed person is intensely disliked by Allah (SWT).

Ibn Mas`ud (RAA) said:

The Prophet (PBUH) said:

It is a quality that does not befit the Muslim woman who has been guided by the truth of Islam and whose heart has been filled with the sweetness of faith. So she keeps far away from disputes and arguments in which cheap insults and curses are traded. The alert Muslim woman is further encouraged to avoid such moral decadence whenever she remembers the beautiful example set by the Prophet (PBUH) in all his words and deeds. It is known that he never uttered any words that could hurt a person's feelings, damage his reputation or insult his honour.

Anas ibn Malik (RAA), who accompanied the Prophet (PBUH) closely for many years, said:

He even refrained from cursing the kafirin who had hardened their hearts to his message. He never spoke a harmful word to them, as the great Sahabi Abu Hurayrah said:

The Prophet (PBUH) excelled in removing the roots of evil, hatred and enmity in people's hearts when he explained to the Muslims that the one who gives his tongue free rein in slandering people and their wealth and honour is the one who is truly ruined in this world and the next. His aggressive attitude towards others will cancel out whatever good deeds he may have done in his life, and on the Day of Judgement he will be abandoned, with no protection from the Fire:

Not surprisingly, therefore, all of this nonsense is eliminated from the life of true Muslim women. Disputes and arguments which could lead to curses and insults are rare in the community of true Muslim women that is based on the virtues of good manners, respect for the feelings of others, and a refined level of social interaction.

She Does Not Make Fun of Anybody

The Muslim woman whose personality has been infused with a sense of humility and resistance to pride and arrogance cannot make fun of anybody. The Qur'anic guidance which has instilled those virtues in her also protects her from scorning or despising other women:

The Muslim woman also learns the attitude of modesty and gentleness from the example of the Prophet (PBUH), so she avoids being arrogant and scorning or looking down on others when she reads the words of the Prophet (PBUH) as reported by Muslim, stating that despising her fellow Muslim women is pure evil:

She Is Gentle and Kind Towards People

It is in the nature of women to be gentle and kind, which is more befitting to them. This is why women are known as the "fairer sex."

The Muslim woman who has truly been guided by Islam is even more kind and gentle towards the women around her, because gentleness and kindness are characteristics which Allah (SWT) loves in His believing servants and which make the one who possesses them dear to others:

Many ayat and ahadith reinforce the message that gentleness and kindness are to be encouraged and that they are noble virtues that should prevail in the Muslim community and characterize every Muslim member of that community who truly understands the guidance of Islam. It is sufficient for the Muslim woman to know that kindness is one of the attributes of Allah (SWT) that He has encouraged His servants to adopt in all their affairs.

Kindness is a tremendous virtue which Allah (SWT) rewards in a way unlike any other:

The Prophet (PBUH) praised kindness, regarding it as an adornment that beautifies and encouraging others to adopt this trait:

The Prophet (PBUH) taught the Muslims to be kind in their dealings with people, and to behave in an exemplary manner as befits the Muslim who is calling people to the religion of Allah (SWT), the Kind and Merciful, no matter how provocative the situation.

Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said:

Kindness, gentleness and tolerance, not harshness, aggression and rebukes, are what open people's hearts to the message of truth. The Prophet (PBUH) used to advise the Muslims:

People are naturally put off by rudeness and harshness, but they are attracted by kindness and gentleness. Hence Allah (SWT) said to His Prophet (PBUH):

This is an eternal declaration that applies to every woman who seeks to call other women to Islam. She has to find a good way to reach their hearts, for which purpose she utilizes every means of kindness, gentleness and tact at her disposal. If she encounters any hostility or resistance, then no doubt a kind word will reach their hearts and have the desired effect on the hearts of the women she addresses. This is what Allah (SWT) told His Prophet Musa (PBUH ) and his brother Harun when He sent them to Pharaoh:

Not surprisingly, kindness, according to Islam, is all goodness. Whoever attains it has been given all goodness, and whoever has been denied it has been denied all goodness. We see this in the hadith narrated by Jarir ibn `Abdullah, who said:

The Prophet (PBUH) explained that this goodness will be bestowed upon individuals, households and peoples when kindness prevails in their lives and is one of their foremost characteristics. We find this in the hadith of `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) in which the Prophet (PBUH) told her:

According to another report, he (PBUH) said:

Jabir (RAA) said:

What greater goodness can there be than a characteristic that will protect a man from Hell? As the Prophet (PBUH) said in another hadith:

The teachings of the Prophet (PBUH) take man a step further, by instilling in him the attitude of kindness and requiring him to be kind even to the animals he slaughters. This is counted as one of the highest levels that the pious and righteous may reach:

Kindness to dumb animals that are to be slaughtered is indicative of the kindness of the man who slaughters them, and of his mercy towards all living creatures. The more a person understands this and treats all living creatures well, the more kind and gentle a person he is. This is the ultimate goal towards which Islam is guiding the Muslim, so that he is kind even to animals.

The true Muslim woman can imagine the comprehensiveness of the Islamic teachings enjoining kindness upon the sons of Adam, when even animals are included.

She Is Compassionate and Merciful

The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings of Islam is compassionate and merciful, for she understands that the compassion of people on earth will cause the mercy of heaven to be showered upon them. She knows that the one who does not show compassion towards others will not receive the mercy of Allah (SWT), and that the mercy of Allah (SWT) is not withheld except from the one who is lost and doomed, as the Prophet (PBUH) said: